STORY: :: Annie Vargas
[VARGAS]: "I failed. I held on as long as I could. I love you all. I tried to give you a smooth ride. It's closing time."
...This is the one he left on the mountain."
:: Sandy, Utah
:: October 24, 2025
A note, from Delta Air Lines pilot Brian Wittke, who died by suicide in the Utah mountains in June of 2022, aged 41.
:: Annie Vargas, Mother of Brian Wittke
"I feel sadness that I couldn't put my arms around him and make it all better. That's what a mom wants to do."
Brian Wittke's mother, Annie Vargas, gave Reuters a personal glimpse of her son's mental health struggles and why he resisted her plea to seek help.
[VARGAS]: "Those are him with his kids."
:: Wendy Wittke
He was a pilot and father of three who, Vargas said, was scared that getting treatment for depression would cost him his passion and profession.
She said the drop in air travel during the pandemic kept Wittke at home more and affected his mental health.
[VARGAS]: "Everything was about his family. He was afraid that if he lost his job, he couldn't take care of his family anymore."
Vargas said she was speaking out in the hope that the family's tragedy will challenge the mental health culture in the aviation industry.
Delta Airlines - which called Wittke's death (quote) 'tragic and heartbreaking' - said it offers confidential support programs and counseling for staff. And, it said, it's working to deliver more help.
But, it also said the pilot community had a stigma against seeking mental health services.
As Reuters discovered, there's a morbid saying among pilots. "If you aren't lying, you aren't flying."
We spoke to more than 24 commercial pilots for this story who said there were a number of reasons they were reluctant to disclose mental health issues, including social stigma, regulations and airline policies.
Even minor or treatable ones, they feared, could lead to an order to stop flying and a drawn out, expensive medical review that could end their careers.
[VARGAS]: "I don't know whether he heard rumors, I don't know why, but he was convinced that reporting that he was struggling was going to be out of the cockpit for an indefinite period of time."
Having spotted a golden dragonfly after his memorial, Wittke's mother now wears the insects to keep his memory alive, and to invite conversation about her son.
In a 2023 Society of Occupational Medicine study of more than 5,000 U.S. and Canadian pilots, more than half said they avoided healthcare over concerns about losing flying status.
:: Los Angeles, California
:: October 6, 2025
[MERRITT]: "I hear from pilots all the time who struggle with the decision to get treatment..."
Los Angeles-based pilot Troy Merritt voluntarily grounded himself a couple years ago, after realizing his depression and anxiety were too severe to fly safely.
[MERRITT]: "I just couldn't go to work. I couldn't get myself out of the house. It was one of the most intense experiences emotionally for me."
Merritt spoke on the condition that Reuters would not identify his employer.
He says it took 18 months - with stable medication, extensive psychological and cognitive testing, and thousands of dollars out of his pocket - before he was cleared to fly again.
[MERRITT]: "I'm a better pilot today than I was before I got treatment, as far as that's concerned. Personally, I'm also a much happier person and I enjoy life a lot more."
In a statement, the FAA said (quote): "...We encourage pilots to seek help early if they have a mental-health condition since most, if treated, do not disqualify a pilot from flying..."
Pilots must stay healthy--both in body and mind--to keep their FAA medical certification which they need to fly.
In some cases, medical exams are done every six months.
Severe conditions require an extensive FAA review that can take up to a year or more.
And while the FAA says it is committed to prioritizing the mental health of pilots based on the best medical science available...
Merritt says the review process is too long for patients who have responded well to treatment.
SOT: "It's my firm belief that the industry will be much safer if we make access to mental health care easier for pilots because avoiding mental health care opens up the door to pilots who avoid taking care of their health, and that's when problems can arise in the cockpit and safety issues can come about."
:: Le Vernet, France
:: March 26, 2015
In 2015 a Germanwings co-pilot with a history of severe depression flew a jet into a French mountainside, killing all 150 people onboard.
In the decade since, regulators and airlines have introduced reform but haven't produced a global system for addressing pilot mental health.
But, in the United States, the FAA has made progress.
For one, it's broadened the list of approved medications for mental health conditions.
Airlines and pilot unions have also expanded confidential peer support programs.
And many industry groups are urging the FAA to adopt recommended steps by its advisory committee to protect pilots who disclose issues and speed up their return to work.
In September, the U.S. House of Representatives voted for the FAA to implement those changes within two years.
