How Quietness Can Be Heard in the Workplace: Supporting Asian Pacific Islander Employees

For most of my life, I have been used to people asking me something to the effect of, 'You were really quiet in there-are you OK?' Whether it was in a classroom, a small group project, or a work-related meeting, that question always made me feel perplexed and somewhat frustrated. I never knew how to adequately respond because I thoughtI was OK, but when someone would call out my quietness with a tone of genuine concern, I would naturally second-guess if I was actuallyOK.

Is it OK to be quiet?

More recently, I decided to try and answer this for myself. What was it about my reserved nature that invoked worry from others? After all, my Vietnamese upbringing in the United States emphasized the value of being quiet, and how that strategy of 'blending in' would be conducive to my survival and success. My parents and many other Asian Pacific Islander (API) refugee families who I grew up around seemed to have a similar message ingrained in their U.S. American-born children. Whenever someone asked me if I was OK, I would internally think, 'Yes, I'm OK. Why would I notbe OK?! I'm always quiet. It's who I am and how I was molded to be since I was born…'.

Looking back at those countless moments of inner turmoil where I struggled to answer what appeared to be such an innocent and simple question, I can't help but laugh now because I understand where all of that prior frustration originated from. Whenever I was around my API community and just being my regular quiet self, no one ever asked me if I was OK because being quiet is not unusual for us, so I don't have to explain myself. The quietness I was regularly demonstrating hadn't been a cause for concern in thosecircles-ever. In contrast, when my quietness was observed outsideof the realm of my API community, it was often mistaken for lack of confidence, unwillingness to engage, or inability to communicate.